I see it all the time. A woman comes in the shop with the anticipation of putting some fun back into her love life, she checks out the novelty section, but she won't buy a new toy because she knows her lover will reject it.
This is definitely a problem. But what's the answer?
I feel sorry for those men who are intimidated by a silicone object that vibrates. Those men are insecure. There, I said it. And there isn't a product on the market today that can change his mind and push you and your partner to the next sexual level without first having something so simple, yet so difficult to obtain: trust.
Everything that a couple needs in order to grow sexually begins with trust. Did you know that couples who engage in bondage acts tend to have the most trusting relationships? It's true.
Now, don’t start thinking that getting tied up is going to magically instill trust in your relationship. It takes time to build up to that. I mean, if he’s not willing to play with a mini vibrating bullet for your pleasure, then he’s miles away from buying rope and a whip.
Many men don't want to open up their vulnerable sides because they are afraid it will be used against them during a fight or it will be thrown back up in their faces. If you want to build trust in your relationship, never, ever do this. It kills things pretty quickly.
We’ve all read those “here's how” articles that simply say, “…talk to your partner about your feelings…tell him what you want…guide him…” But we can never find an article that says exactly what magic words to use.
Here’s my suggestion: share your vulnerabilities. Share your deepest secrets, not necessarily about sex, just about your life. Can you trust your partner with your secrets? You should, you’re having sex with him already.
Trusting your partner to the point of sharing vulnerabilities, without the fear of those secrets being used against you, is truly the next emotional level you need to achieve before trying to coax him into using a new plaything that he has no interest in using, or simply fears.
Try getting him to talk more openly about personal issues. Then, when you want to talk about introducing a vibrating cock ring into the bedroom, at least you will get a more accurate answer about why he might not want to use those toys. If he still is saying no “because, that’s just gross” or “I should be enough for you” .. then you may have a long way to go to get to your Sexual Nirvana. But keep trying. You will eventually get there, and you will build a better relationship along the way.